10 Worst Celebrity Albums
Forget sex tapes, sometimes a CD is the most embarrassing thing a celebrity can release.
10. The Return of Bruno by Bruce Willis
Remember when the hard-to-kill action hero moonlighted as a blues singer. Know what would give us the blues? A 28-year old doofus marrying our hot ex-wife.
Sample Lyric: “Keep talking about the president / Wont stop air pollution / Put your hand over your mouth / When you cough / That’ll help the solution.”
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9. My World by Ron Artest
After Ron Ron’s angry debut sold only 343 copies its first week, he officially became the NBA’s worst rapper. Shaq is off the hook.
Sample Lyric: “Matt Lauer, up on NBC. You look like a girl don’t talk to me.”
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8. Mojo Priest by Steven Seagal
Think The Glimmer Man is the worst thing Steven Seagal ever attached his name to? Then you haven’t heard this 2006 album. Apologies are in order for this washed up action star-turned-environmentalist. How many trees were destroyed to make his acoustic guitar?
Sample Lyric: “Someone took me to a restaurant and I had to eat something fast / I ordered me some chicken / They gave me alligator ass.”
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7. Wicked Wisdom by Wicked Wisdom
As Jada Koren, front woman of Wicked Wisdom, Will’s wifey, Jada Pinkett Smith, screeches over brutal hardcore metal. Emphasis on the brutal.
Sample Lyric: “You fear me I fear you / We have no idea why that’s true / Except the fact someone told us to.”
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6. How Could It Be by Eddie Murphy
Call this a missed opportunity: A Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate album would have done Jamie Foxx numbers. The only positive to come out of this collaboration between Eddie Murphy and Rick James was a Chappelle’s Show sketch 20 years later.
Sample Lyric: “My girl wants to party all the time. Party all the time. Party all the time.”
5. David Hasselhoff by David Hasselhoff
While never a pop star in America, the Baywatch boss claims his pop songs help bring down the Berlin Wall. He also eats hamburgers off the floor of Vegas hotel rooms. When he’s drunk. And has his daughter videotape it.
Sample Lyric: “When life is getting to me / I’m sad and gloomy/ All I have to do is play some rock ‘n roll.”
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4. Here to Heaven by Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Hot actress (with mob ties) warbles her way through her first (and only) album, Here to Heaven.
Sample Lyric: “Its one thing to ask why do we break up/ Have you ever wondered why it is we fall in love?”
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3. Prime Time by Deion Sanders
After succeeding in two professional sports, Deion was convinced he could do it all. He was wrong. His Hammer-lite rap single, “Must Be the Money,” was corny, unoriginal and disgustingly ostentatious. But hey, at least he didn’t go bankrupt.
Sample Lyric: “Diamond Rolex, with ‘gators on my feet / I got two pair for every day of the week / My hair is done, my fingernails too / Six buttons down and I don’t know what to do.”
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2. Baby Woman by Naomi Campbell
Hot model (with anger issues) warbles her way though her first (and only) album, Baby Woman. The record’s failure proved she should stick to what she does best—like beating up maids.
Sample Lyric: “I want to know how to separate love and tears.”
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1. Let’s Go Bang by Jennifer Love Hewitt
Hot actress (who sees dead people) warbles her way though five, yes five, albums. The standout, however, is the subtly titled 1995 release, Let’s Go Bang. Of course, like nearly every other American actor-turned-singer, she’s big in Japan.
Sample Lyric: “Let’s go bang / I wanna go bang / Let’s go bang / I wanna go bang.”
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